"A few years later, it felt as though eons had flashed by and it felt as if time had regenerated all wounds, so i assumed. By then, i had already flourished into a matured and strapping young lad. Gone was
those wild days, but nonetheless, mere re-collection of the sweet good old days never failed to leave an impish grin on my face, there were good times too, i recalled, albeit also, an inkling of penitence and
melancholy. At the end of the day, i knew deep down that life still had to go on some how or other. In conjecture, i thought i was so over it and felt relieved that i no longer felt that way anymore.
Nevertheless, in what initially appeared to be like a sardonic stroke of doom, there it was again, its smooth titillating porcelain-like mien and dazzling timelessness of what was once my object of covetousness and gratification. With a dark raunchy and nubile silhouette casting a stunning contrast against shimmering ivory background, hot as could be, still, its lush, unrestrained, enigmatic and stirring demeanor melted straight away into sweet oblivion in my warm soft insides and also seethed away what felt like a decade long of agony, anguish and yearning for the inamorato i was brutally force to relinquish, though the circumstances surrounding then was anything but impetuous or foolish, although it may seemed to have appeared to be so. Instantaneously, I wasimmediately able to recognize that sweet, lovely and extraordinary hint of tender sensuality, with an exquisite whiff of ultrafine bouquet that combined in ultimate synchronization with its original exotic come-hither quality. Purposefully encased in a
diaphanous scintillating patina of silvery gold and technicolors, it could only be god's gift to the whole of mankind! MM YUM
Suddenly, fighting back profuse tears of heartrending joy, with dumbfounded acuity, and as if in perpetual shock, i suddenly began to realize what had just happened, and what had been going on all this while! Right that very moment, I finally fathomed what truelove was!!! --it was a feeling so powerful that could withstand an eternity of
chastisement and yet would never croak. One may try to put it away, conceal it, or worse, repudiate it, but it would never disappear. It was a sacred incorporeal connection bound in perpetuity by faith and destiny and something that was infallible, inescapable and premeditated to happen when and only one's heart was opened enough to all its
possibilities in the purest, most unadulterated and in the most heartfelt and most sincere of intentions and desires.
Even though i tried casting it out of my mind all these years, alas, i had only managed to isolate all my feelings and numb off all my senses by filling the empty void with whatever substitutes, i thought, could replace or obliterate my unspeakable past. All this while, actually, i was just trying to chuck away my feelings by burying them so deep down in the infinite abyss of my heart, that it was in my hope, they would
never ever be recovered, then completely denying this all ever happened, so that nothing could ever hurt me so deeply again anymore. That was how i dealt with pain, uncertainties and my own obscure insecurities and inadequacies; the exact same ways most people dealt with theirs too.
Filled with mixed emotions from the fears of such astounding actualization, of which the consequences were still unfounded, together with the indescribable joy of the reunion, i suddenly felt a little lost and bewildered, wandering how i should actually go about from here and what to do next..
Nevertheless, eyes gleaming with distinct conflagration of passion once again, my adamant love and regard grew even stronger this time, hence, triggering off a whole new chain of natural actions and reactions, which naturally guided me in making the most pertinent assessment and resolution.
Before one could even say Jack Robinson, i was already hot on my toes on another bout of sizzling quest and pursuit to champion back my truelove, and salvage my happiness, hopefully for good this time!
Suddenly, more than ever before, i had found renewed confidence, self-belief, valiancy and vigor to go against even a thousand armies and fight a thousand battles and nothing seemed impossible for no distance seemed too far and no peak seemed too high or insurmountable, virtually anything and everything was feasible and that the insuperable seemed almost effortless, like absolute zilch.
In the twinkling of an eye, i was no longer disillusioned and the blinding smoke screen that had previously cast endless shadows of doubts and uncertainties upon my perplexed, unsettled and troubled thoughts instantaneously vanished into thin air. All of a sudden, the road ahead of me seemed to become clear as crystal. Simultaneously, the leaden load that seemed to have been weighing against my demoralized and trodden spirits all this while also seemed to have suddenly disappeared.
After all these years of living at the brink of sheer vacuity that nearly drove me to the verge of aberration, my life was once again filled with optimism and prospect for the future and i no longer felt the horrible way that i used to feel anymore. In fact, i felt just like a brand new man!!!
However, faced with the most malicious of skeptics, cynics and critics and confronted by the most devious and vicious of detractors, i constantly felt as though prying painfully through this pitched dark, dampened, tumultuous lair comprising of only low-lying thorny shrubs and creeping scrubs, sordid slimy slugs, hair-raising spine-chilling creepy crawlies, blood sucking leeches, menacing ticks and parasites,making my hellhole even deeper, even darker, even scarier.
I bemoaned every single breathing moment of it, constantly hoping to break out, to break free! However, it was as if fallen into quicksand, the more violently and desperately i struggled, the more rapidly and belligerently it engulfed me.
In one of the murkiest and most dreadful moments of my life, i suddenly recalled the stirring words of Helen Keller, who through her own moments of darkness and adversity went on to inspire others. Suddenly, she seemed like a beacon of hope on the other murky end of a dark, chilling tunnel, like the reverberating prop of my custodian cherub beckoning at me to keep pushing forward, and reminding me to keep my focus on my dreams, rather than on my excruciating pain. In the rousing and echoing words of Helen, she said, 'One could never consent to creep when one had an impulse to soar.' Those words landed upon me like a pile of bricks and such impact was something i never ever felt before my whole entire life when i first read it but now it suddenly strung a cord deep inside me. Thereafter, i simply just could not take my mind off those succinct but yet extremely powerful,compelling and profound words that seemed to have completely mercerized and possessed my every being, and infact in cogitation, i kept pondering nonstop over it.
Eventually, i went into what seemed to be like a state of rumination which seemed to last for perpetuity, ultimately leading to a sound and resolute decision of sorts, and suddenly, looking cool as cucumber, i knew i had it all finally figured out. Then i made a silent oath to myself that if i ever escaped out of all these well and alive i knew what was to be done and what had to be done, and this time, nothing would be able to stop me, change my mind, swerve or derail my course. Not even fate!"
3D Camera Projection Mapping: Salvador Dali's Dream of a virgin
